26 Dec 2026 Goal: Be in Command of Oneself

by Kalika Yap

I’m writing from East Brunswick, New Jersey, where we’re visiting family. I’m sitting in the local Barnes & Noble, drinking an americano with oatmilk. It’s a beautiful sunny, chilly day!

On the way here, I walked through the Brunswick mall and it hit me how much it’s changed.

At The Children’s Place, the shelves were mostly empty, and a few customers were quietly rummaging through toddler denim, trying to find whatever was left.

Many stores had their gates down, like the building was already starting to say goodbye.

For the past two decades, this place has been part of my annual rhythm.

In the back of my mind, I thought:

the internet did this.

When the internet took off in the late 1990s, most of us didn’t picture big malls fading out like this in place of online shopping.

But we’ve watched it happen.

Now it’s not hard to imagine the next wave of change coming faster because of AI.

That speed can stir up real fear. Job loss. Business obsolescence.

A sense that the ground is moving under your feet.

This is where Stoicism, and Ryan Holiday’s work in particular, can be useful.

The core idea is simple:

“Be in command of oneself.”

Not controlling the outside world.

Not pretending everything is fine.

Just leading yourself through change so you can make good decisions when things get loud.

Here’s a practical way to tell you’re getting better at it:

• You get into fewer arguments
• You recover faster when something upsets you
• You have fewer opinions about things you don’t control

That doesn’t mean you’re “above it all.” It means you’re saving your time and energy for what actually belongs to you:

your choices.

Step-by-step guide: How to prepare for change (starting now)

Step 1: Name the change you’re feeling.

Write one sentence: “The change I’m noticing is _____________.”

Getting specific lowers the swirl.

Step 2: Do the Stoic split.

Two columns:

• Up to you: skills, offers, pricing, relationships, your effort, your response
• Not up to you: the market mood, other people’s reactions, platform shifts, headlines

Step 3: Build a 30-day learning loop.

Pick one AI skill that directly supports your work (writing, research, customer support, editing, analysis). Spend 20 minutes a day practicing it. Small beats grand.

Step 4: Run a “business stress check.”

Ask: If one source of leads slowed down next month, what would you do first?

Then write the first two actions you’d take.

Step 5: Strengthen what you already own.

Your email list, your website, your client relationships, your referrals. These stay with you even when trends change.

Step 6: Practice fewer arguments.

When you feel the urge to debate, pause and ask:

“Is this worth my energy, or do I need to take an action?”

Then choose the action.

Step 7: Do a weekly reset.

Once a week, review: What changed? What did you control well? What will you do next week?

If you’d like help turning this into a simple plan for your business and your life, you’re welcome to set up a discovery call for entrepreneur coaching here: https://calendly.com/Kalika

Merry Christmas!